This song is a homage to Bob Dylan, particularly his songwriting style for many of his songs where there isn’t really a chorus, just a line repeated at the end of verse which happens to be the song title. A good example of this is in his 1975 song, “Tangled Up In Blue.”
To start with the recording, I laid down the acoustic guitar by itself.
I knew from the start I wanted to include a harmonica. I’ve never actually put one in any of my songs, so it was a little bit of an experiment. I actually had to go out and buy one and make sure it was in the right key of the song. I took a little time to learn the basics of playing and then went for it. Here’s how it sounds.
The percussion for this recording builds as the song progresses. The first element is a kick and tambourine part that comes in on the second verse. After the second verse ends, I bring in a snare drum with brushes playing a Johnny Cash style beat, which I like to call a train beat because it has a kind of chugging sound.Then when we get to the bridge, I bring in the handclaps to complete the hoe down.
To fill things a bit more, I added an organ. I also added in a simple electric guitar part to give it a little more fullness and energy.
The vocals have a heavy slap-style reverb similar to Johnny Cash or Elvis.
The lyrics of this song are about a friend of mine who recently went through a divorce. It’s about looking back at the situation with regret and wishing you had done things differently; wishing that you have communicated more clearly and been more empathetic.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering an additional 10% off your purchase of this and other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout.
That’s all. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time.
In this episode, I break apart a song called, “Heaven Help Us.” This comes from my album Starting Over released back in August of 2022.
Originally, I thought of the song as more a sparse folk ditty. The chord structure is super simple. Most of only one chord: C9. And in the chorus, I add a second chord. So with the simplicity of a song, I need to make the production a little more interesting. As It came time to record, I started thinking about the song, “Red Eyes” by The War on Drugs.
Their song also has a pretty simple chord progression for most of the song but they keep it moving with a steady beat and plenty of atmosphere elements, which tend to borrow from the heartland rock of the 1980s, like Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp. So, I tried to keep some of those elements in mind when I produced my song.
First, I chose this drum loop from the Circles Drum library and added a few extra snare and cymbal hits. It was labeled “Petty” which I assume is a reference to Tom Petty. To me, it’s a little bit like the drum sound on “Running Down A Dream.”
With the beat squared away I laid down acoustic and electric guitars for the rhythm part.
I added another guitar with distortion to give the chorus a little bit of an explosion of energy.
Next I added a lead guitar part played with an Ebow, which is a little device that makes guitar strings vibrate without actually touching them, giving it a sound a little bit similar to a violin or cello. Here’s what it sounds like.
Next, I added a simple retro-sounding synth part to fill out the choruses and double up some of the lead lines.
For the vocal production, there I added on a heavy slap-back style reverb to add to the atmosphere.
The lyrics from this song are based on a personal experience. My family recently went on a hike in southern Utah, where we underestimated our timing and ended up having to walk in the pitch dark for a few hours along steep terrain with just the light from our cell phones. We made it back fine but there was this fear in my head the whole time that we would get lost. I made the situation worse in my head, which led to some intense prayers. And so, the worst-case, “lost in the desert” scenario became the basis for this song. It’s also a religious metaphor for our time on earth and our reliance on God to return home.
And with that, here’s the complete song. I hope you like it.
This song is available to license for your projects like podcasts and videos. Get 50% off your purchase until April 23. Use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout. Find it at archesaudio.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering an additional 10% off your purchase of this and other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout.
That’s all. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time.
In this episode, I break apart a song called, “Feeling Like A Ghost.” This comes from my album Starting Over released back in August of 2022.
This song is influenced by the band, The Shins, particularly their song “Pink Bullets.”
I like the imagery of the lyrics, along with the sparse, haunting production. So I tried to keep some of those things in mind when I recorded my song.
So the first thing I recorded was the acoustic guitar. The strumming pattern is kind of similar to the Shins, especially the way the guitar has a melodic feel to it.
I started thinking about what kind of different layers I could add to the song to fill things out more. The first thing that came was the piano part, which plays simple whole note chords during the singing and takes on a melody line during the interlude and outro.
I added a churchy sounding organ to give it a little more of the haunting atmosphere.
Next I added a shaker. It’s pretty soft in the background but just helps keep a little bit of momentum going with the song.
It needed little more punch so I came up with this idea where in between phrases, I take a recording of a cymbal and piano, and reverse it, followed by an echoey kick drum hit. Here’s what it sounds like.
I like the direction this was going but I still felt like the song dragged on a little. So, for the second half of the song, I decided to have more instruments come in and shift the vibe a little.
First there’s the drums. I programmed the beat using samples from the Circles Drum Library. I picked a really buzzy sounding snare drum because it thought it fit the vibe I was going for pretty well.
Next I layered on a few extra piano parts. One of them is a steady quarter note played in octaves to help drive the momentum to the end.
I also layered on this tinkly, echoey piano part to give in a haunting feel.
During the recording this song, I was watching Stranger Things and I heard their opening title sequence, which has some really interesting synths parts that pay homage to horror movies from the 1980s.
So I started playing around with some similar sounds and came up with this retro synth line.
Next I added this really ghostly sounding synth part to really drive home the haunting atmosphere.
For the vocals, I added a slap-back reverb effect. During the chorus, I doubled up the melody and added a subtle harmony part.
Lyrically, this song is about fearing death. Watching people around me pass away has left me with this sense that life is fragile and that I or anyone I love could be gone anyday. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that we’re all going to die some day. It can be really depressing to think about but it’s also made me want to make the time I have in life count, in terms of keeping my priorities straight.
And with that, here’s the complete song. I hope you like it.
In this episode, I break apart a song called, “Killing time.” This comes from my album Starting Over released back in August of 2022.
This song is influenced by the band, Wilco, particularly their song “California Stars.”
I liked the beat and laid back feel of the arrangement on their song. So, I tried to incorporate some of those elements into my song.
So to start with, I recorded an acoustic guitar play the chords with a pretty straight forward strumming. Then I played the same rhythm guitar part again but with a clean electric sound to give it more texture. For the percussion, I started by putting a beat together using samples from the Circles drum library and a tambourine. Then during the chorus, the beat is fairly steady and kind of similar to Wilco’s California Stars with a shaker added in on the bridge.
For verses 1 and 3, I give it a beat similar to the Fleet Foxes song “Battery Kinzie.”
It kind of reminds me of an old Motown style beat. I also layered on this lofi drum machine throughout the song but you mostly notice on the Verses 1 and 3 when most of the instruments are cut out.
Most of the song, including the solo, has this retro sound organ to fill things out. Again I took some inspiration from hearing this type of sound on some of Wilco’s music. During the solo, I added a really buzzy synth, which is typically a little out of place for this sound but I thought added something kind of unique and gives the song a little more edge to it.
For the vocals, I doubled them up and added a heavy slapback echo reverb sound, which gives it kind of a murky vibe.
Lyrically, this one is a story from the perspective of a teenager struggling to find a purpose in life. They’re watching the world fall apart, the future looks bleak, their parents are constantly yelling at them, and they start feeling like “what’s the point?” They’re never going to be satisfied with life so it feels like they’re just running out the clock, killing time until they kick the bucket.
I think many of us can occasionally get caught in a similar rut. This song is supposed to represent just a snapshot, that hopefully this type of thinking is temporary and that we overcome it and find a way to gather some meaning and purpose going forward.
And with that, here’s the complete song. I hope you like it.
And that’s our episode . If you’re interested, I made a music video for this song, which you can find on YouTube or in the description.
Also, This song is available to license for your projects like podcasts and videos. Find it at archesaudio.com. Use the promo code “songoftheweek” at checkout to get 50% off your purchase of this song until March 19th.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering 10% off your purchase of the other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout.
That’s all. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time.
In this episode, I break apart a song called, “Not Easy.” This comes from my album Starting Over released back in August of 2022.
This song is influenced by the band, The Weakerthans, particularly their song “Sun In An Empty Room.”
I like the lead guitar line a lot and the way the other instruments keep things simple and stay out of the way. I also like the mellow but melancholy feel this song has. So, I tried to borrow some of those different elements when I made my song.
To start, here’s the original voice memo recording I made while I was still writing the song. The words are just gibberish phrases while I tried to work out the melody.
I eventually came back to the voice memo and finished writing the song. When it came time to record, I started with guitars. First, there’s the acoustic guitar. Then an electric guitar with a little bit of overdrive emphasizing the lead line. Then there’s a bass part that I keep pretty simple to help ground the song.
For the drums, I took samples from the Circles Drum Library and programmed my own part. I tried to mostly keep it simple but throw in some occasional accents and fills.
One of the last things I figured out was the guitar solo. I took a lot of stabs at it but it kept feeling too busy to me. Then I remember the solo from the Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s song, Scar Tissue. I like how breezy and effortless it sounds.
So I tried to do something similar with my own guitar solo. It’s one of those situations where less it more.
Lyrically, this song is about trying to come to terms with your place in the world and getting perspective. Like a lot of people, I have big dreams and ambitions. I used to turn to people like Steve Jobs as a model of accomplishing big things. He was quoted as saying he wanted to “put a dent in the universe.” I’ve certainly had that desire but now I’m questioning the sentiment. It’s made me feel like if I haven’t accomplished something big, then my life hasn’t been worthwhile.
There’s a line in the 1st verse where I reference that quote and say, “Did I ever matter? Did I make a dent? Now I’m second guessing, what it ever meant”
I’ve had to learn to let go of that notion, be okay with where I’m at, and focus on the things I have control over. So in the chorus of the song, I say “It’s not easy to see the forest from the trees,” which is about trying to get yourself out of a rut and gain some perspective.
As one of my friends, Kimberly Knighton wrote in a song, “You don’t have to save the world. Just leave it better than you found it.”
Also, This song is available to license for your projects like podcasts and videos. Find it at archesaudio.com or click the link in the description. Use the promo code “songoftheweek” at checkout to get 50% off your purchase of this song until February 12th.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering 10% off your purchase of the other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout.
In this episode, I break apart a song called, “Figuring This Out.” This comes from my album Starting Over released back in August of 2022.
This song meshes together a whole bunch of different influences including Vampire Weekend, Modest Mouse, Animal Collective, The Walkmen, Gorillaz, Regina Spektor, and Phil Collins. I’ll dive into the specifics as we go along here.
In my head, I originally had something along the lines of a less trippy version of the Animal Collective song, Unsolved Mysteries.
So, to start with for the recording, I took a kick drum sample playing quarter notes and laid an acoustic on top of it playing eighth notes.
So this was a nice start but I felt like it was lacking some energy and grit. I started thinking about The Walkmen song “Wake Up.”
I really like the way the electric guitar sits in their song, so I played a similar electric guitar part in mine and doubled it up.
Next, I worked on filling out the beat a little bit. I had something like the beat for “Float On” by Modest Mouse going on in my head.
I added hi hat, and snare samples, which occasionally do a roll sound.
The guitars alone weren’t quite getting the feel I wanted. I started thinking about the Regina Specktor song, Fidelity.
I like the soft, pizzicato string plucks and the way they felt with the beat. So I created a similar sound by adding an electric piano in the mix.
At this point, I started thinking about how I could break up the different sections of the song so that it progresses to different places as it goes along. I changed the opening beat on the first verse of the song to a drum machine that sounds like this. I also added a fuzzy, synthesizer bass, which layers a few different sounds together. I tried to do something that Gorillaz would do. During the second verse, I add a glockenspiel sound to give it kind of a playful feeling. In the second half of the song, I added an echoey, high pitched guitar part for another texture.
Next I thought of the style of early Vampire Weekend. I like the way they are able to incorporate baroque classical instruments with their brand of indie rock music.
So I borrowed this approach for something similar in my song. First there’s the harpsichord and then a string section at the end.
To close it out, I wanted to throw in a fun drum fill at the end and the first thing I thought of was Phil Collins’ famous drum solo from “In The Air Tonight,” which sounds like this.
So I used this as a reference and programmed a similar drum fill.
For my vocals, I added distortion, reverb and delay effects. It sounded a little like the sound quality of an answering machine to me and since the first line mentions an answering machine, I created a “beep” sound to really drive the message home (no pun intended).
In the chorus production, I went back to Modest Mouse for inspiration. I like the way they have several different voices singing the song together on Float On. I layered on about 5 different voices of my own.
Lyrically, this song is about relationships and the feeling of fear and insecurity that can sometimes creep in.
Back to the Phil Collins song, “In The Air Tonight,” there’s a very bitter line where he says “if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand.” So in my song, I reference that line but flip it and say “If I told you I was drowning, then would you not lend a hand?” So that part of the song is about the difficulty of really speaking your mind and asking for help when you need it.
And with that, here’s the complete song. I hope you like it.
Also, This song is available to license for your projects like podcasts and videos. Find it at archesaudio.com or click the link in the description. Use the promo code “songoftheweek” at checkout to get 50% off your purchase of this song until February 12th.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering 10% off your purchase of the other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout.
In this episode, I break apart a song called “stand on your own,” which is influenced by Marcus Mumford. This comes from my album Starting Over, which came out August of 2022.
This one is actually the oldest song on the album. I wrote most of this song in 2019, almost immediately after my last album, Good Grief was released. I was riding off of the energy and momentum of the time and wanted to give myself a “pump up” song about following your dreams and supporting your friends and loved ones in their struggles.
When it came time to record, I took some influence with the production from the theme song of the TV show Ted Lasso, which was recorded by Marcus Mumford.
I like the beat a lot so I created a similar beat for my song. The kick drum has a steady quarter note beat, which is sometimes called “4 on the floor” by drummers. I used samples from the circles drum library and programmed the kick, snare, toms and cymbals in protools. Then I recorded a tambourine part of top of it. In the pre-chorus, the chords hold out so to keep the momentum up, I change the beat to this tom roll. With the beat squared away, I started adding guitars. First, the acoustic has a fairly busy strumming rhythm, which drives the momentum of the song. I think it works because it’s on top of a fairly steady beat.
Next are two electric guitars which a more simple strumming pattern to fill it out more. One of them is clean and the other has a light overdrive distortion. For the ending I wanted to kick the energy up a notch so I added two more distorted electric guitars.
So with the basic core of the arrangement in place, it felt like it needed some more melodic elements. So, after some improvising. I came up with this piano part to give it more melody and add energy. In the choruses, it plays this steady piano part which kind of anchors the song a bit. And then an organ that art just to fill things out a little more.
For the vocals, I tried to keep some movement with the melody. Some of the notes get to the edge of my. Vocal range so it makes me have to strain a little but I think I kind of adds to the emotion a bit. Here’s The vocals isolated on the chorus.
Regarding the words, I heard a quote a while back that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” and so a version of that line made its way into the lyrics of the song.
This is the most upbeat track on the album and so I decided to put it first. I felt like it was a good way to kick off the album before diving into darker territory in later songs.
This song is available to license for your projects like podcasts and videos. Find it at archesaudio.com or Use the promo code “songoftheweek” at checkout to get 50% off your purchase of this song until January 22nd.
Also, for listeners of this podcast, Arches Audio is offering 10% off your purchase of the other songs in the music library, as well as any services, including audio editing, artwork, and a new course on podcasting. Visit archesaudio.com and use promo code “makingmusic” at checkout..
Another year wraps up and as usual, I’m sharing my favorite albums. I don’t know if it’s just me but I felt like this was an excellent year for music. Some of my favorite artists came out with new records, many of which were sounding fresher than they have in years. I’ve also discovered several new artists (well, at least they’re new to me) and I’ve been happily surprised with the quality I’m seeing, including artists from the genres of country and pop. I honestly had a hard time narrowing down my list this time, but I was able to pick 10 albums that stood out to me as my core favorites for the year; ones that I kept coming back to.
But before I jump into the top ten, let me share my honorable mentions. These are albums I listened to and enjoyed but for one reason or another, didn’t quite make the top ten album list for me:
Honorable Mentions:
The Smile – A Light for Attracting Attention
Pool Kids – Pool Kids
Spoon – Lucifer on the Sofa
Delta Spirit – One Is One
Two Door Cinema Club – Keep On Smiling
Jack Johnson – Meet The Moonlight
Mitski – Laurel Hell
Wilco – Cruel Country
The Lumineers – Brightside
Carly Rae Jepsen – The Loneliest Time
So, with that said, let’s jump in and countdown my top ten albums of the year.
10. Sharon Van Etten – We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong
This is the 6th album from this New Jersey musician. She’s an excellent songwriter, creating heartfelt, sincere lyrics and melodies that float to unexpected places. The production is filled with atmosphere and dense instrumentation, borrowing from 80s artists like Kate Bush and Cocteau Twins. But really her strength is in her angelic, beautiful voice. If shifts between sounding heart broken and beaten down by the world to soaring heights of bliss, which is to say her music is simultaneously dark and beautiful. It’s a great combination.
This is the third album from this Australian indie rock band, who is a new discovery for me this year. Dealing with death and grief, the songs burst out with a sincerity and earnestness often missing in today’s music. The dense arrangements weave together rock music with strings and synths, similar in approach to the music Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene were making about 15 years ago. That’s not to say it sounds dated. They have a fresh take on indie rock sensibilities, with a feeling of adventure and ambition with the production. It’s a great album and a joy to listen to.
Essentials: In The Wake Of Your Leave, You In Everything, Tend The Garden
I’ve been a Death Cab fan for a long time. They’re a band that I have the bragging rights to say, “I saw them before they got big.” Their music has evolved over the years, as any band does, but if feels like the last 2 or 3 albums have kind of missed the mark for me. They still had some good moments but not as consistent as the earlier stuff. But here they are in 2022, releasing their 10th studio album in their 25 years as a band, and sounding fresher than they have in a long time. They seemed to have bumped up the energy, in terms of the tempos and cranking up the distortion on their guitars. It’s apparent they’ve spent more time on the production, giving the songs atmospheric textures and creating some interesting dynamics with the mixing. The songwriting has also move forward, with Ben Gibbard seeming to have more to say this time around. All and all, it’s a great album and might even be one of their best.
Essentials: Roman Candles, Here to Forever, Foxglove Through The Clearcut
This is the 8th album from this veteran country artist and she’s something of a new discovery for me. I usually don’t get into mainstream country but I gave this album a try and I’m glad I did because it’s fantastic! The songwriting is absolutely top-notch, with clever and occasionally biting lyrics. The songs have a cool swagger in the production that help them standout from other country music. She has a powerful voice and comes across very mature and confident as an artist. It’s refreshing to see someone in country breaking the mold a bit and breathing life into traditional sounds.
Essentials: Actin’ Up, Geraldene, If I Was A Cowboy
This artist is new discovery for me, thanks to my brother, Josh, so shout out to him. This is the fourth album from this electro pop group from North Carolina. It’s filled with a lot dense and interesting production ideas, from blippy drum machines and glitchy synthesizers to thick harmonies, intricate string arrangements, and off-kilter saxophones. But luckily, it’s rooted in strong songwriting, with a plain but pretty vocal approach from singer Amelia Meath. It’s a perfect blend of chaos and comfort.
This had been a big breakout year for this young Oklahoman alt-country singer/songwriter. This is his third album in only 3 years and his major label debut, and at 34 songs, it qualifies as a triple album. Now you’d think with that many songs, there would be a lot of filler, but it’s actually surprisingly consistent. Not a bad song on here! I love his raspy, soulful voice, which reminds me of Ryan Adams or Chris Stapleton. The songs have a great energy and sense of purpose and passion. The recordings sound very raw, like many of songs might have been recorded in one take without any effects. Some even feel like demo recordings. But that’s not a negative thing. It gives these songs that much more urgency and a feeling of authenticity.
Essentials: Something In The Orange, Happy Instead, Tishomingo
This is the third album from this Canadian indie rock band, and even though they’ve been making music for over a decade, they are new discovery for me. They take conventional power pop songs and turn them on their head with hazy, dream pop flourishes and shoe-gazer experimental textures. They effortlessly channel influences from 80s new wave, like The Smiths, Cocuteau Twins, Kate Bush, and Blondie. Despite all the atmosphere textures, it’s still a very high energy and fun listen, with excellent songwriting.
Essentials: Tile By Tile, Pomeranian Spinster, Pharmacist
This is forth album from this Icelandic singer/songwriter and, like his previous albums, it does not disappoint. He manages to continue finding new ways to develop and refine his unique sound, which combines acoustic guitar, piano, and horns with drum machines and synthesizers. The songwriting and singing is also top notch, with yearning melodies that float along. It all adds together to make some of the best moody, atmospheric, yet melodic music coming out these days.
Essentials: Snowblind, Time On My Hands, Borderland
This is has been a huge year for this former One Direction singer. In addition to touring almost non-stop, his worldwide mega-hit, “As It Was” has spent 15 weeks at number 1, longer than any song this year and, for that matter, any song by a solo artist ever! This is his third album and I feel like with this one, he’s really come into his own in terms of finding his voice and carving out a fresh style. At times he channels Micheal Jackson with powerful vocals and tight harmonies. Other times, he blends his influences with some experimental tones, including the use of synthesizers, guitars, and other interesting vocal effects and sounds. It’s adventurous but still incredibly fun and catchy with great songwriting.
Essentials: Music For A Sushi Restaurant, As It Was, Grapejuice
Despite this being his 9th album, this Nashville-based artist is a new discovery for me this year. His songs are incredibly catchy and fun, with heartfelt, inspirational lyrics about overcoming discouragement and learning to savor the happy moments in life. The production throughout the album blends a good range of styles with his great voice, from piano pop to acoustic folk to jazzy funk and even hip hop. In fact, this might be only album that ever comes out with guest appearances from Snoop Dogg AND Kenny G! I was lucky to have the opportunity to see him live this year and it was an incredible show. He has so much fun, positive energy on stage. I keep coming back to this album over and over because it’s such an enjoyable listen.
Essentials: Living My Best Life, Supernatural, Sunday, Heroes
That’s the episode. Thanks for listening. If you’re interested, I created Spotify playlists with all the music from this episode, along with more of my favorite songs.
There’s also another playlist of full albums, which actually extends this list to include my top 50 or so albums of the year. You’ll find links in the episode description.
I’d love to hear what your favorite albums for 2022 were. Go to my Facebook group for Making Music with Jake Haws and leave a comment so I can check them out.
Also, I just want to add that my podcast production company, Arches Audio, is having an end of the year sale, with up to 50% off our products and services, including editing, artwork, stock music and a new course on podcasting I just finished creating. If you’ve ever thought about starting a podcast, now is the time. The sale ends on December 31st so don’t wait. Visit archesaudio.com/blackfriday.
Every year, my family has a tradition of recording Christmas songs. To date, we’ve done 34 songs over 16 years. This year, we came in a day late but we still did it. We decided to tackle John Lennon’s song, “Happy Christmas.” I sang, played acoustic guitar, bass, drums, keyboard, and sleigh bells. My wife, Melissa sang and played mandolin, and all three of our kids sang as well. We ended up layering their vocals to sound like a big children’s choir. We had fun making this and hope you like it.
I hope you had a Merry Christmas. If you’re still in the mood for more Christmas music, check out our family playlist.
Also, I just want to add that my podcast production company, Arches Audio, is having an end of the year sale, with up to 50% off our products and services, including audio editing, artwork, stock music and a new course on podcasting I just finished creating. If you’ve ever thought about starting a podcast, now is the time. The sale ends on December 31st, 2022 so don’t wait. Visit archesaudio.com/blackfriday.
It’s been a while since I’ve put out a podcast episode. The reason being is that I’ve been busy working on a new album, which I’m pleased to say is now done. It’s called Starting Over and it’s an album about getting through dark times and finding light at the end of the tunnel. I’m gonna talk about each of the songs and play it for you in a minute, but first, let me give you a little background about the album as a whole.
So, between the pandemic and things happening in my personal life, I’ll be honest, it’s been a rough couple years. And after feeling the toll on my mental health, I eventually decided I needed help. So I did a number of things. I started going to therapy and reaching out to friends I trust and opening up about my struggles. And I started going on more walks and connecting with the outdoors, and practicing meditation, and prayer and kind of listening more to my inner voice. And these have all been really helpful things but I’ve also turned to songwriting.
My last album came out December of 2018 and since then, I’ve recorded quite a few instrumental tracks but I hadn’t done much writing complete songs with lyrics. I had a bunch of little song ideas collected on the voice memos app of my phone but I had a hard time putting words to the ideas, so it’s mostly just me singing gibberish phrases over guitar chords.
Around October of last year, I began to feel more of a need to express myself in order to process some of these emotions. So I took my favorites from all these song ideas I had stored up on my phone and started writing lyrics. And once I got going, the songs poured out faster than they have in a long time. I was able to finish writing 11 songs in about a week. I’ve been more personal in my lyrics than I ever have in regards to what I’m going through and how I’m feeling and It’s been a challenge for me to be so vulnerable but it’s been helpful to my soul to be a little more introspective and express myself more openly.
After I was done writing, I immediately started recording and after about 2 weeks, the album was about 80% done. Then it sat that way for several months until eventually I came back to it, and bit by bit added and reworked the arrangements until I was finally satisfied.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Wilco lately, especially their albums Summerteeth and The Whole Love, which definitely had an influence on the sound and the arrangement choices with this album.
My wife, Melissa did the photography and artwork, which I think turned out really cool, so huge thanks to her.
I also want to mention that I was fortunate enough to receive a grant from the Utah Division of Arts & Museums, which allowed me to upgrade my audio equipment and get a better quality recording, so big thanks to them.
I hope sharing these songs will be beneficial to those listening. They’re kind of like little snapshots in time for me and If you’re going through something similar, I hope it will help you feel less alone.
So with that, I want to jump into the songs. In future podcast episodes, I’m going to break down the production of each song and talk about how it was made, so look out for those, but for now, I’m just gonna give more of a brief background about what each song is about.
1. Stand On Your Own – I wrote most of this song in 2019, almost immediately after my last album, Good Grief was released. I was riding off of the energy and momentum of the time and wanted to give myself a “pump up” song about following your dreams and supporting your friends and loved ones in their struggles. I heard a quote a while back that “people don’t care how much you know til they know how much you care” and so a version of that line made its way into the lyrics of the song. It’s an outlier on the album, in the sense that I started writing it over two years before the other songs, but it’s also the most upbeat track. I felt like it was a good way to kick off the album before diving into darker territory.
2. Figuring This Out – This one is about the feeling of insecurity in a relationship. When things get rocky and not how you plan, it’s easy to start feeling like your life is stuck, in some way. But eventually you get through it and learn to better communicate and compromise. There always seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. This song has not one, but two nods to the Phil Collins song, “In The Air Tonight.” There’s the line about drowning in the verse similar to his and I also slipped in the iconic drum fill to close out the song.
3. Not Easy – This song is about trying to come to terms with your place in the world and getting perspective. Like a lot of people, I have big dreams and ambitions. I used to turn to people like Steve Jobs as a model of accomplishing big things. He was quoted as saying he wanted to “put a dent in the universe.” I’ve certainly had that desire (and by the way, a line about making a dent made it into the lyrics) but now I’m questioning the sentiment. It’s made me feel like if I haven’t accomplished something big, then my life hasn’t been worthwhile. I’ve had to learn to let go of that notion, be okay with where I’m at, and focus on the things I have control over. As one of my friends, Kimberly Knighton wrote in a song, “You don’t have to save the world. Just leave it better than you found it.”
4. Killing Time – This one is a story from the perspective of a teenager struggling to find a purpose in life. They’re watching the world fall apart, the future looks bleak, their parents are constantly yelling at them, and they start feeling like “what’s the point?” They’re never going to be satisfied with life so it feels like they’re just running out the clock, killing time until they kick the bucket.
5. Feeling Like A Ghost – This one is about fearing death. Watching people around me pass away has left me with this sense that life is fragile and that I or anyone I love could be gone anyday. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that we’re all going to die some day. It can be really depressing to think about but it’s also made me want to make the time I have in life count, in terms of keeping my priorities straight.
6. Heaven Help Us – This song stems from a personal story. My family recently went on a hike in southern Utah, where we underestimated our timing and ended up having to walk in the pitch dark for a few hours along steep terrain with just the light from our cell phones. We made it back fine but there was this fear in my head the whole time that we would get lost. I made the situation worse in my head, which led to some intense prayers. And so, the worst-case, “lost in the desert” scenario became the basis for this song. It’s also a religious metaphor for our time on earth and our reliance on God to return home.
7. I’m So Sorry That I Didn’t Understand – This one is about a friend of mine who recently went through a divorce. It’s about looking back at the situation with regret and wishing you had done things differently; wishing that you have communicated more clearly and been more empathetic. The songwriting style is very much a homage to Bob Dylan.
8. End Of My Rope – This one is about feeling intense moments of depression and anxiety. In these dark moments, it feels like everything is collapsing in, that the world is out to get you and there’s no end in sight. I tried to have some contrasting elements in the arrangement. The simple two-chord progression and steady beat are at odds with the very chaotic, noisy lead guitar parts that duel with each other. The intention is to simulate the intense chaos going on in a person’s head on top of the repetitive monotony of day-to-day life and the breaking points that occur.
9. Someone Else – This one is about feeling stuck in life and longing for things to be different. At times, I just wanted to give up and start over. But while caught in the struggle, you learn to get through the hopeless moments by talking it through with people you trust. In terms of the progression of the album, this opens up the last three songs, which focus on healing and coming to terms with myself.
10. Wait For It – This one is about learning to be patient with your own progress and kind to yourself. Change is a process that takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight. As I’ve worked on strengthening the spiritual side of my life, it’s given me peace and helped give perspective to my problems.
11. Coming Around – This one is about my hesitation to be vulnerable. I’ve kept a lot of my problems to myself for a long time because I didn’t want to burden anyone. Over time, it built up and felt like too much to handle. Eventually I realized I needed to get help so I decided it was time to get therapy and start opening up to the people around me. I’ve had to come around to the idea of being vulnerable (hence the title), but that decision has helped set me on a better course. There’s strength to admitting you need help. We’re not meant to do this life alone.
Thanks so much for listening and letting me share this album with you. If you want to hear it again, it’s available on Spotify, Apple Music, Bandcamp, Soundcloud, and all the other streaming services. Please share it with people.
If you are interested in licensing any of these songs for your podcast or video projects, I have instrumental versions of each of the songs available.
